He wrapped his arms around her and she felt the closeness of his body, warm against her own. She smelled the faint traces of a masculine cologne, kind of a rugged smell that really suited him. She felt her heart beat faster and her breath grow faint. Once again, he had entered unfamiliar territory, and she didn't know what to do. She both wanted this and feared this. Wanted to feel his strong arms protectively around her, yet feared it was happening too fast.
But it was college, it was probably just the way things worked. It wasn't like he was being pressuring. Really, he just seemed incredibly sweet and sensitive. Was it all just a facade? Was he just trying to reel her in before getting what he really wanted? She didn't know, and she didn't really want to find out.
Before she had time to sort out her thoughts and really let herself relax in his arms, he pulled away, brushing a stray strand of her pale blonde hair back into place. "It's...okay,"
[/b] she whispered. Better than okay, if she would just allow herself to give in.
He looked deep into her eyes, he could sense she was struggling. He took her hand and gently rubbed her fingers. "What's on your mind?" He hoped he wasn't pushing too hard. "You just look conflicted? I know we just met, but I won't bite." He scooted closer until they were almost touching.
He was overwhelmed by the smell of her perfume. "Avery, I am really glad you came over tonight." He smiled at her hoping she was feeling the same things he was. He touched her cheek gently, almost as if he was trying to believe that this was all really happening.
Should she tell him? Explain her awkward responses and hesitation? He might realize then that she really was just another silly freshman and leave her for someone more...confident. But as she looked into his eyes she felt herself trusting him. Even if he decided she was too inexperienced to pursue, to date...he surely wouldn't discount her as a friend.
She glanced down and then back up at him as she began speaking. "I guess conflicted is one way to put it. I'm just...nervous. I've never, well, done any of this before."
[/b] She waved her arms around in a gesture to indicate them and their setting. "I think you're a really nice guy Sawyer. But I just met you. Does it make me a bad person because I want to enjoy being with you?"[/b] She sighed, knowing she must sound like a pathetic kid. "I guess I just don't want to get into something I'll regret later. Being around guys has never been easy for me and now I keep second guessing where this is going."[/b]
He smiled weakly, "is that all? I really didn't know I thought you had . . . more experience." He leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't want to get you into anything you aren't ready for." He squeezed her hand again, "I just really like being around you, and I don't want to do anything to ruin this, especially before it even is anything."
He didn't know what had come over him, he never really acted this way. But there was something about this girl that was bringing it out in him. He laced his fingers with hers as he thought about the day. "If all you're ready for is a friend, then I can be a friend. But if you think you might want more, I can be more."
His lips on her forehead made her skin tingle and she felt so relieved that he understood. He wasn't pushing her away and telling her to go back to her dorm. His words made it seem like he already felt something between them. She didn't have anything to compare it to, so she couldn't be sure, but she felt like there was something there too.
She blushed as she thought back over his comments. "I guess I've just always been too caught up in school and dance to have much time for dating,"
[/b] she said. It wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. She would have made time for a boyfriend if one had presented himself, but none had. So she'd just poured herself even more into her passions to push aside the feelings she didn't want to face.
"I don't really know what I'm ready for yet. But, I really do want to be friends,"[/b] she smiled, realizing how close she felt with him already. Perhaps closer to him than any friends she'd had in the past, aside from her sister. [/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]
He held her hand tight, "I think I can do that. We can just take it nice and slow and see where it leads." He smiled at her, "So you dance? What kind of dancing do you do?" He could feel the tension in the air slowly start to melt away. He was glad that it was something so small. He had just met her, but already he knew he didn't want to lose her.
"How long have you been dancing? Do you still do it any?" He was genuinely interested in her life, and he just hoped that she didn't think it was all an act. He had so many thoughts running through his head he didn't know how he had room for all of them.
He'd changed the subject before she'd had time to fully think over what she was saying, but she decided a change in subject made things a little more comfortable. "Oh, I've done tap, jazz, and ballet. I think ballet is my favorite, but I like them all."
[/b] She smiled, feeling warm inside because he cared enough to ask about her.
"As long as I can remember, really. I still do, but now that I'm here for college I'm not officially taking lessons or anything. I'll probably drop by the studio on the weekends I'm at home though,"[/b] she spoke, leaning closer towards him but not resting against him. She felt the tension fade and decided now was as good of a time as any to explain herself further. "Uh, Sawyer, I didn't say I wanted to just be friends. I already feel different with you than anyone before... I don't have much to base that on, but, I don't want to ignore it or run away from it."[/b] She looked up at his warm eyes, hoping he understood what she meant.
He felt her lean closer, so he put his arm around her shoulder again. "I would like to see you dance sometime." He felt comfortable now, almost like this was where he was meant to be. "He held her hand tight as he looked down at their hands. "I will be whatever you want me to be." He smiled down at her, as he kissed her forehead again.
He creased his brow slightly, "I just didn't want you to think I was one of those college guys who only cared about one thing you know?" He rubbed her shoulder as he held her. Wishing this night would never end.
She snuggled up against him and closed her eyes, relaxing when he kissed her forehead again. "I can probably dance for you sometime, I'd just have to find a place around here to dance,"
[/b] she said softly, eyes still closed. She was trying to memorize this moment, so she'd never forget anything about it.
"I really didn't think you were,"[/b] she said with a small laugh. Or at least, she'd hoped he wasn't. She wondered what time it was. Probably at least six, maybe a little later. Not late, but not early. She didn't want to disturb the moment by checking her phone, but she really wasn't worried about it. She was in college now, there was no one who was going to yell at her for being at Sawyer's apartment. No one who would yell at her for getting home too late. Well, Riley could, but she shouldn't. It wasn't like she was Miss Perfect herself. It felt so good to do something in the moment without worrying about constantly doing everything right. Avery was really wish the night wouldn't end. [/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]
He wrapped both arms around her and rested his head against hers. "This just feels perfect." He held her close, how much longer did he have until shed have to go. He didn't know, he didn't really care, all he knew was this moment was amazing, and he didn't want to disturb it.
He whispered to her, "Avery, I think I want to kiss you." He blushed as the words passed his teeth. He let the smell of her perfume completely envelope him as he held her.
At his words she tensed. She didn't know the first thing about how to kiss. Nothing had prepared her for that moment, and she freaked out. She jumped up, out of his arms and away from him. She grabbed her phone and looked at the time and mumbled an excuse. "Uh, it's getting late. I need to get back.
[/b] She offered him a smile, but it was dim and flickered away quickly.
She looked around, making sure she hadn't brought anything else over. Certain that she had only brought herself and her phone, she turned around abruptly and headed over towards the door. [/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]
He felt her jerk away, "I'm sorry, that was too fast." He looked out the window, trying to stop himself from getting in her way. "It's gotten dark, if you're leaving can I at least walk you back to your dorm?" He was beside himself, why did he have to say that. Thinking it was okay, but saying it. She had done it again, turned him into a complete and total idiot. But he kind of liked the feeling.
He tried to think of something that may defuse the situation. He remembered the fumble he had made when she got there in his nervousness. "You can't forget your jacket." He flashed a quick smile, hoping that the words would help even just a little.
She was confused and really just wanted to think. Alone. She saw him getting up as he offered to walk her to her dorm. "Sawyer, please. Don't. Not now,"
[/b] she hurried to say as she moved closer to the door and opened it.
At his next comment she spun around to face him again. She smiled, but shook her head. "I'll be fine, really. I just need some time alone, which is hard to get around here."[/b] She looked out the door and saw that the sun was setting, but it wasn't completely dark yet. Plus the campus was well lit and her dorm wasn't that far away. [/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]
He smiled weakly, "Okay, if you're sure. You know where to find me when you're ready." He wanted to run to her and hold her, but he knew he shouldn't. "Still wanna go out this weekend?" He tried again to force a smile. He was worried that he had hurt her, or worse ruined the spark they shared.
He stood there rooted to the spot, feeling his legs yearn to move. It took all his will power to hold him in that spot.
She walked out the door and then spoke over her shoulder. "We can talk about the date thing later. I really need to go."
With that, she walked off, back down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk that led to her dorm. She tried to fight the tears that were forming in her eyes, but without much luck. She decided she wouldn't tell Riley about him yet. She didn't want to explain all the details when she wasn't even sure how she felt about everything. [/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]